The Feels – Aleczan's New Diary (FFXIV: ARR)

Atop a Snowy Cliff

By Aleczan Knighthill | November 26, 2015 - 2:50 pm |December 22, 2017 Quests, Screenshots, Self Screenshots, The Feels, View Screenshots

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*This entry contains spoilers of FFXIV 3.0 main scenario quest line*

I used to go to the top of the cliff overlooking Ishgard for sightseeing a lot. This cliff has the Mark of Menphina (symbol stone of one of the Twelve, the Lover) and sometimes I come here to admire the stones. XD

With the story of 3.0 (Heavensward) there is a change to the cliff… a change which I’m still trying to cope with. ><;;

Today I was supposed to continue main scenario quest to catch up with the 3.1 updates, but I am sick and emo and didn’t feel like it. So I just sat there moping while writing a poem.

Atop a Snowy Cliff

Many moons have passed since that day,
The cursed moment when you were taken away,
What I wouldn’t give to go back in the past,
To stop that day from being your last,

Oh, why, only if I weren’t so careless,
We could have spared me from this sadness,
Atop the wind-chilled cliff in the Highlands,
With white flowers in my trembling hands,

I come here to greet you again, dear friend,
The deep wound in my heart has yet to mend,
It doesn’t get any easier, Francel said,
That echoes my exact thought, I’m afraid,

Staring at the broken shield and snowy headstone,
Fierce pain pierces though my every bone,
Trickles of sorrow seep along my veins,
My heart feels heavy like shackled in chains,

You were so kind, just, and courageous,
My cheery ally, truly warm and courteous,
Whose loyalty stirred me to the very depths of my soul,
At the very best, you’ve carried your role,

A knight lives to serve, to protect, to sacrifice,
But why must the vow come with such price?
A knight is to aid those in need, you said,
Then, before me, your life has been laid,

Don’t call me hero, for the true hero was you,
Countless times, you had helped me through,
Had welcomed me with open arms,
And smiled to me with such unique charm,

Told me no matter how far I may roam,
To ever consider your place my home,
Your hospitality was great and endless,
You’re beacon of hope in a world of darkness,

I know no man with stronger conviction,
Who has greater love to the Ishgard nation,
Would that you were here to fight by my side,
Or leisurely hop on for a chocobo ride,

So that I could show you the peace you saved,
And the road to prosperity which you paved,
I daresay you were my greatest comrade,
And the sturdiest ally I’ve ever had,

“My arm will not falter; my shield will not break,”
You promised, before putting your life at stake,
This loss is both too harsh and too heavy,
Why, oh why must you do this to me?

You fought your battle with all your honor,
To you, I know this is not an error,
But to me, I felt so much despair,
How much I wish this were just nightmare,

Wallowing in sorrow will make you frown,
~~The~~ A Warrior of Light can’t let you down,
For these reasons, and for these alone,
That I will wipe my tears and not bemoan,

I must not remain a broken blade,
Because that was what you forbade,
You once said a smile better suits me,
Therefore, like that, it will be,

Though it won’t be an easy feat, I’ll try my best,
With you as a model, I will pass any test,
I shall now straighten up and fight on,
In tribute to the hero who is gone,

May the Fury take your soul in her Hall,
And grant me your courage when the duties call,
May Menphina, the goddess of love,
Let you have peace and watch us from above.

– Aleczan –

SE is a bully

By Aleczan Knighthill | April 3, 2015 - 5:00 pm |April 4, 2015 My Rants, The Feels

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They are such a big bully, abusive jerks, murderous bastards. XD The plot of 2.55 was so deep, so well-written, and so cruel.

Today I kind of malfunctioned after finishing the main scenario quests of 2.55 and didn’t do anything productive in the game. I actually hopped in bed and went to sleep to sooth my feelings all afternoon lol.

And I drew these:

Feeling so emo now lol. SE, good job.

I still have faith, though. I feel that things aren’t exactly how it seemed, and I will keep believing in my comrades. I am going to pray to the Twelve that things will look up in 3.0.

Main Scenario Quest Rant – WHY!

By Aleczan Knighthill | November 18, 2013 - 2:34 pm |November 18, 2013 My Rants, Quests, The Feels

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*WARNING: Spoilers of feelings for lv 46 main scenario quest. Though I am not saying what happened, I’m talking about how I feel, and that might spark a hunch for some people.*

I just finished level 46 main scenario quest from Castrum Centri and I am extremely upset by the turn of event. I was screaming No no no no NO NO NONONONONO! WHY!!?! This cannot be! Why, SE, WHYYYYY!?

First, I was mad that we left the thing behind when we escaped, and then shortly after, the cutscene showed something that broke my heart. That’s Thal’s balls! Balls!!! Nophica’s teat, and Byregot’s beard! RAWR!!! /cry /fume /disappointed

And as Aganbold of camp Revenant’s Toll would curse, “Ooowww, swivin’ sons of─! Seven hells for seven brothers, that hurts like a troll marryin’ my daughter!” This is pretty close to what I’m feeling right now.

But I don’t give up my hope yet. I suspect a foul play. It seems too deliberate that we would discover this at such time and in that split second. As pathetic as it sounds, I am clinging onto this thin hope that it is not what the story wants us to believe. T.T Nu nu nu nu nu! At least I, for one, don’t want to believe it.

No FFXIV For me Today

By Aleczan Knighthill | August 26, 2013 - 1:19 am |August 26, 2013 The Feels

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Ah well, due to many real life stuff happening at once (e.g. sister and brother-in-law brought 2 nieces over for a visit, family dinner, family shopping) today I got almost no dose of FFXIV at all. Also, the servers have been wonky of late. Not only that the Duty Finder server was quite broken, rendering instance raid dungeons and most of special instances for class quests and main scenario quests inaccessible, but after several maintenance, the servers in general were still congested and unstable.

When I got home and my sister’s family left to head home, I came back to my room to check on the game and all servers were running. Bravo! I thought. But then I kept getting spat out from the server while the screen said “Now loading” after I selected my character. They said they are limiting the numbers of players to log in on each server. I guess I came too late to get in. XD

Instead of to keep trying and failing and getting upset in the process, I decided to get up from my desk and do something productive. Since my speakers went short circuit and died since 2 weeks ago, I was using my dad’s iPod’s speaker (portable, small, and crappy) temporarily just so my computer wouldn’t be completely mute. Dad asked if I wanted to use his old set of stereo speakers, but I said no thanks, as they are bulky and seemed like a hassle to connect. Now, it was time to go back on my words and take the offer. So I went to grab those speakers.

I left the game on while I was sitting on the floor to figure out which wire goes where. And…yep, sure enough, after a certain minutes of being idle, it automatically started playing End of An Era => A New Beginning movies.

WHY……… WHYYYY!!!!!!!!!!?

Through my crappy temporary speaker, I heard the chanting lyrics. On my screen, the heart-clenching scene went on. The song Answers, along with these movies are my weakness.

“To all of my children in whom life flows abundant.”

“Walk free, walk free, walk free, believe.”
“The land’s alive, so believe.”

End_of_an_Era04b

“Our souls have been torn, and our bodies forsaken.”

End_of_an_Era04c

“Tell us why, given life, are we meant to die.”
“Help us in our cries!”

End_of_an_Era05b

“Answer. Answer. Answer together.”

And yep, sure enough my room right then suddenly became filled with dying moogle noises / stuttering nannygoat / drowning dodo / sneezing chocobo / or whatever noises they were. I am not easy to offend and I don’t get mad at the crippled servers, but this, THIS, I cannot bear! SE are you picking a fight with me!?!?!!!! Ahhhh all the feels! I can’t. I just can’t.

//emote weeps in a corner of her room.

A New Beginning

By Aleczan Knighthill | August 23, 2013 - 11:24 am |August 27, 2013 The Feels

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***This entry may contain story spoiler, especially for those who haven’t watched “End of An Era” yet.***
***หัวข้อนี้อาจมีการสปอยล์เนื้อเรื่อง โดยเฉพาะสำหรับผู้ที่ยังไม่ได้ดู End of An Era***

We all know that the End of An Era was but a path toward A New Beginning, yet I can’t help but weep inside, and sometimes outside, whenever I am reminded of what happened during the battle of Carteneau. If anyone were eavesdropping at my door while I am either watching the ending, the opening, or playing through a quest with a flashback about the battle, they would hear whimpers, a lot of whimpers. In an attempt to stifle my sob, it usually results in a gargling sound not unlike a drowning person. Then, follow some wheezes, some trembled exhales, and eventually loud whimpers.

เราต่างก็รู้ดีว่าการล่มสลายของยุคสมัย (End of An Era) เป็นเพียงแค่หนทางสำหรับก้าวไปสู่การเริ่มต้นครั้งใหม่ (A New Beginning) เท่านั้น แต่กระนั้นทุกครั้งที่ฉันได้เห็นหรือฟังสิ่งใดที่ย้ำเตือนให้คิดถึงสิ่งที่เกิดขึ้นยังแนวหน้าของศึก ณ Carteneau ก็อดไม่ได้ที่จะสะอื้นอยู่ลึก ๆ (หรือบางทีก็สะอื้นออกมาเลย) ถ้ามีใครมาแอบฟังอยู่ที่ประตู ในเวลาที่ฉันเล่นเกมนี้ และได้ดูภาพ ฟังเสียง หรืออ่านเกี่ยวกับการสัประยุทธ์ครานั้น ไม่ว่าจะในรูปแบบวีดีโอหรือจากการดูเนื้อเรื่องเควสต์ในเกมซึ่งมีการย้อนระลึกความ ก็คงจะได้ยินเสียงครางโหยของฉันดังขึ้นถี่ ๆ นับครั้งไม่ถ้วนเป็นแน่ ความพยายามของฉันที่จะกลั้นใจไม่ให้ร้องไห้ มักจะนำไปสู่เสียงอึกอักในลำคอคล้ายคนกำลังจะจมน้ำก็มิปาน หลังจากนั้นจึงกลายเป็นเสียงหวีดเบาในลำคอ เสียงระบายลมหายใจออกอย่างสั่นเครือ และตามด้วยเสียงครางโหยในที่สุด

That was quite dramatic….not. You would well understand me if you played FFXIV before and have been through and been absorbed into those storylines like I did. After the End of An Era, I have played the main scenario quests during Alpha and Beta test phases countless times. And since Phase 3, they let us watch the new flashback cutscenes during certain quests. The grief felt by the generals of the Grand Companies was also felt by me. The very same despair that engulfed the adventurers at the battlefront, plunging the whole realm into the deepest and darkest hopelessness, also engulfed me. And my budding hope that was revived by the sight of Louisoix conjuring his powerful barrier and seal spell had withered and died yet again at the appearance of THAT smile on his face.

Hold on a sec, let me whimper and catch my breath. Huff, oohh, ahhh, phew!

แหม ฉันนี่ช่างดราม่าน้ำเน่าจริง ๆ …. ซะเมื่อไหร่ล่ะ! หากใครได้เล่นเกมไฟนอล 14 มาก่อน และได้ผ่านและซาบซึ้งกับเนื้อเรื่องมาเหมือน ๆ กับฉัน ก็จะเข้าใจเองว่าทำไม หลังจากการล่มสลายครั้งนั้น ฉันได้ร่วมทดสอบตัวเกม ทั้งอัลฟ่า เบต้า และได้ทำภารกิจเนื้อเรื่องหลักซ้ำ ๆ นับครั้งไม่ถ้วน โดยเฉพาะอย่างยิ่งในระยะที่ 3 ซึ่งมีการเปิดให้เราดูฉากเคลื่อนไหวในเกมได้เต็ม ๆ โดยไม่ปิดบัง มันมีบางเควสต์ที่เล่าย้อนไปถึงการรบพุ่งครั้งนั้นด้วย ความโทมนัสที่เหล่าผู้บังคับบัญชาของสามทัพใหญ่รู้สึก ฉันก็รู้สึกด้วย ความท้อแท้เดียวกันกับที่กลืนกินเหล่านักผจญภัย ณ แนวหน้าของการรบ และผลักดินแดนแห่งนี้ให้จมดิ่งลงสู่ความสิ้นหวังอันดำมืดสุดหยั่งนั้น ก็ได้กลืนกินฉันไปด้วย อนึ่ง ความหวังใหม่ที่แตกหน่อขึ้นและฟื้นคืนชีพขึ้นมาเมื่อได้เห็นท่านลุง Louisoix ร่ายคาถาเกราะกำบังและคาถาปิดผนึกอันกล้าแข็ง ก็กลับแห้งเหี่ยวและตายลงไปอีกครั้งเมื่อบนใบหน้าของเขาปรากฏรอยยิ้มนั้นขึ้น

อา ประเดี๋ยวก่อนนะ ขอพักสะอื้นและสูดลมหายใจให้เป็นปรกติก่อน ฮึก ฮ้า ฮู้ เฮ้อ!

Anyway, we are now onto A New Beginning. I am extremely impressed by the creativity of the development team. It was such a touching story very well suited for the transition. Bravo to them. I am eagerly looking forward to playing FFXIV: ARR at the official launch.

อย่างไรก็ตาม บัดนี้เราต่างก็ได้ย่างเข้าสู่การเริ่มต้นครั้งใหม่แล้ว ฉันรู้สึกประทับใจมาก กับความคิดสร้างสรรค์ของฝ่ายพัฒนาเกม เนื้อเรื่องที่ได้เห็นมันช่างเป็นเรื่องราวที่ชวนซาบซึ้งและเหมาะสมอย่างยิ่งสำหรับการเปลี่ยนแปลลงของตัวเกม ไชโยให้กับทีมงาน! ฉันกำลังเฝ้ารออย่างใจจดใจจ่อถึงวันที่จะได้เล่นเกมไฟนอล 14 ฉบับปรับปรุงที่กำลังจะเปิดให้เล่นอย่างเป็นทางการ